Things you can't believe you're saying!

I was going through a file hunting for something and not finding it. I came across a piece of paper with this heading. It was a short list of some of the more unusual things I have said to my kids in response to their actions or requests.

Take your truck out of the fridge.
Take your feet off the table.
We don't wash hammers in the toilet.
Don't walk on the water. (We used to refill gallon jugs with water and had about 24 lined up.)
Why did you cut those holes in your shirt?
Take your shoe out of your mouth.
Keep your feet out of the fridge.
The rubber wheels off your truck are NOT gum!
No! Someone did not leave that gum under the chair for you to chew later!

I read them to my 22y son and we both laughed.